


The Confessions (or why Darcy should never be on Tumblr)

by Vicarious



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms, Thor (2011)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-31
Updated: 2012-07-31
Packaged: 2017-11-11 03:03:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicarious/pseuds/Vicarious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Fuck Yeah Darcy Lewis Smut Week Challenge. The option I chose for prompt was ‘Darcy runs a Tumblr Smut Community and is caught’. This features Darcy x Avengers cast including Loki.</p><p>This isn't purely smut, but it's not purely comedy either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Confessions (or why Darcy should never be on Tumblr)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first entry on AO3! I wrote this in one sitting and I'm pretty much wrecked. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

  
**I. SHIELD**  
  
“Did you hear there’s a website where people talk about their fantasies, you know, like with the Avengers?” A woman sniggered as she brought her cup of coffee to her lips. The other woman giggled. “I’ve been to it.” “Oh my god, me too. They keep talking about Barton’s ass.” “Shh, shhhhh!” They laughed, joking how they didn’t want to be overheard and get in trouble. Darcy heard, though and she slipped away from the scene undetected with a smug, satisfied smirk. She collected the stack of papers from the printer, labeled: Banner, Stark, Romanova, Barton, Odinson, Rogers.  
  
“Did you get that email about not going to that site? What is it called?” A man asked his co-worker as Darcy passed by. “Tumblr, I think. Yeah, Fury’s trying to crack down on the person who put it out there because there’s some pretty personal stuff, and he thinks someone in SHIELD is to blame.” Darcy’s eyes widened as she overheard the brief conversation. _Oh. Shit._  
  
 **II. Banner**  
  
“Ms. Lewis.” Bruce Banner quietly said as she entered the lab to drop off papers. He barely glanced up from the computer as she walked up to him and set down the stack of papers. “Darcy works, too.” She bit her lip nervously as she watched his attention being fixated on the screen in front of him. With a couple of clicks, the screen reflected in his glasses changed and his cheeks quickly turned a bright red. Darcy moved to say something, anything to break the tension. Curiosity nagged at her until she moved to look over at his screen.  
  
Oh, there it was. Her own words on Bruce Banner’s chest hair, signed anonymous. She wrote how she loved how dark it was, how scruffy it was, and how you could see it if you leaned over his shoulder. She wrote that she wanted to run her hands over his bare chest and entwine her fingers in it as she grinded up against his lap. She wrote that she wondered if they would need angry sex so he would stay angry. She wonder if having his cock in her throat would cause him to hulk out. She wondered how big the other guy’s cock was.  
  
She read this as Bruce’s eyes scanned the tumblr entry, and she looked down to Bruce curiously. It was then Bruce realized that yes, Darcy was in the room, and yes, Darcy was reading about someone wanting to suck his cock and grab at his chest hair. “O-Oh,” Was all he managed to stammer out, crossing his legs and moving the rolling chair under the desk as he manically attempted to x-out the webpage. His hands moved to cover up his face, grasping at his dark curls on his head. “M-Miss Lewis, thank you for the notes but I’m very busy now. I should-... you should go.” He slowly pulled his hands down from his face and turned abruptly in his chair (causing the monitor to wobble as the chair hit the desk) and stormed away. Darcy looked down at the stack of papers in her hand. This would be interesting.  
  
 **III. Stark  
**  
“Heyyyy, Tony?” Darcy knocked on the door with the back of her hand as she entered the room. Tony elicited a small grunt of recognition, which was more than she usually got with him. He was typically either so engrossed in his research to respond or he was drooling on his desk asleep because SHIELD was one of the few places that could keep Pepper Potts out. Darcy approached him as he was hunched over his desk, when she realized that the grunt was by no means a ‘sure Darcy, come on in’ sound. It was, as Darcy so eloquently put it, the fapping sound.  
  
As she came moved closer behind him, she saw his arm rest against his thigh, his other hand resting on the mouse. She recognized the the tumblr layout from across the room, and things slowly clicked into place. “Ah,” Tony breathed as Darcy slowly drew nearer. “Fuck that’s some good stuff”, he murmured. Darcy couldn’t help but snicker, because now that she was in range of scrutinizing the monitor, she could see her own writing displayed on the screen. Of course Tony heard her snort, and he quickly swiveled around in his seat, wide-eyed.  
  
“Well.” Tony quickly swallowed, looking up at Darcy down to her chest, then down to his own hand wrapped around his hard (and impressive, Darcy thought) cock. Darcy tried to focus very hard on the waggle of Tony’s brows that feigned indifference at being caught with his fly unzipped, but she couldn’t. Her eyes glanced down at his hand that continued to pump himself. She gaped at him as she stepped back, forcing herself to look up at his face. His dark brown eyes were glazed over in lust as he looked back up at her, his hand moving faster and faster. He was getting off on being caught, over Darcy’s words on a website! Darcy flushed red and stole another glance down at his generous arousal before dropping the stack of papers on the floor and bolting out of the office.  
  
 **IV. Romanova**  
  
“You look a little red, Miss Lewis. Are you not feeling well?” Natasha asked, cool as ever when Darcy entered her office to drop off the papers. She glanced up over her computer with those penetrative and confident eyes. After watching Tony Stark jack off to being caught in the act, Darcy didn’t have the guts to stare the silent killer back in her eyes. She was part ninja and probably part wizard, and she was bound to figure her out if she met her glance. Darcy swallowed and shook her head no. “I’m fapt-...fantastic. Thanks though. Here’s the clean-up notes from the last mission.” Darcy winced at her gaffe as she set down the stack of papers on her desk. Natasha continued to stare her down before glancing back over to her computer, clicking. “Thanks.” She hummed nonchalantly and Darcy began to back out. That was when Natasha began to recite some very familiar words.  
  
“If Natasha Romanoff’s thighs can throw people down and snap their necks, I want to see what else they can do. Even if they rival a slap-chop, I still want to bury my face between them. How great would it for her to curl her fingers in your hair and pull as you make her cum her brains out? Totally worth the thighs of death.”   
  
Darcy froze and stared wide-eyed at Natasha. “Huh?” Was the only thing she could manage to respond with and Natasha shrugged as she reclined in her seat. “It’s from this website that Fury told us to ignore. I bet the boys are being pretty disgusting with it, but I just wanted to look what was being said about me. Funny, this one sounds like something you would say.” She glanced up to meet Darcy’s deer-caught-in-the-headlights stare. It became ponderously silent in the office and Darcy could only feel what was a mix between having a lady-boner and a cuddle from the grim reaper.  
  
“I wouldn’t compare your thighs to a slap-chop.” Darcy fumbled out, rolling her eyes as casually as she could. Natasha laughed and leaned back to attend to the computer. Darcy took that as time to scramble, but she could swear she heard Natasha quip aloud that she did worse damage than hair pulling.  
  
 **V. Barton**  
  
“Up here.” Darcy heard from above and glanced up towards the rafters to see absolutely nothing. As she jogged up a staircase to get a better view, Clint Barton jumped down in front of her, causing her to jump back. Foot slipping on a step, she felt the world turn sideways and for half a second she thought that her death would result from tumbling down a staircase. She preferred badass explosion or chocolate explosion as a way to die, which was why she was especially thankful that Clint reached out to grab her arm and pull her up close (dangerously close) to him. Darcy raised a brow and blinked as her nose brushed up against his thin black shirt. Clint gracefully moved up a few steps. “Papers? Thanks Darce.” He hummed as if he hadn’t just saved her from certain doom and took the papers from her hand, picking out his file, and holding the remainders out to her.  
  
Darcy found that exchange much easier than watching Bruce accidentally get a boner, Tony jerking it, and Natasha being some sort of secret-sex-agent. Her Clint fantasies were through the roof and easily spotted on the website. He was so acrobatic, it was hard not to imagine the seemingly infinite positions. He had the most amazing jaw and she wanted to lick it. Also, he had the most rocking ass she had ever seen and she wanted to slap it as hard as she could. In her fantasy, after she slapped him, he would scoop her up and bend her over his knee to return the favor. Darcy shook the thoughts from her head and vowed to deliver the rest of the papers in one piece. She moved to walk down the steps but heard Clint call out behind her.    
  
“Have you seen that website? You’re the resident computer nerd, so you had to have seen it, right?” He asked. Darcy turned to Clint and lowered her head and slowly nodded. “Uh, yeah, everyone’s talking about it.” She slowly looked up to Clint, whose eyes looked dark. He shook his head. “I’d love to stick it in ‘em, whoever it was. I’d fuck them up for saying what they did about Nat.”   
  
Darcy nearly choked and Clint’s brows drew together as he watched her reaction. He frowned before sighing. “An arrow, Darcy. An Arrow.” He said with disappointment before beginning to make his way up the stairs. Darcy couldn’t help but watch his ass as he moved.  
  
 **  
VI. Odinson**  
  
Darcy was almost positive that Thor couldn’t navigate Tumblr to save his life and for that she was grateful. So when she stepped into the gym, she was feeling pretty confident that the sexual torment she wrought on herself was over. She paused as she spotted a shirtless Thor doing pull ups, watching his chest and arm muscles flex every time he pulled himself up over the bar. She was used to seeing the guy shirtless, but it was still an amazing sight nonetheless. She smiled with appreciation for the sight though her eyes politely diverted to his arms as she held up the stack of papers. “Delivery.”  
  
Thor dropped down from the pull up bar and grabbed a towel, wiping the sweat from his brow and draping it around his neck as he towered over her. “Lady Darcy,” He began, his brows pulled together in confusion. “The man of iron has shown me inscriptions on The Tumblr. Have you seen them? I hear many people speaking of it today.” He looked down at her, giant broody and confused puppy dog eyes and all.   
  
Darcy looked away as she ran her hand through her hair and nodded. Fucking Tony. Thor hovered over her and opened his mouth to speak, but paused. Darcy looked up to him questioningly. “They speak of Mjolnir, but I was told ‘that word doesn’t mean what you think it means’. If Mjolnir is not Mjolnir, then what do these inscriptions speak of? They said they wondered how large it was, but then it soon became quite perverse and sexual. Why would mortals be interested in being pounded by my hammer?”  
  
Oh, that entry. Darcy remembered writing how she wanted Thor to give it to her so hard that she saw the stuff of legends. “The hammer is your...” Darcy nodded, leaning her head forward, raising her brows. Thor copied the movement, leaning in close to her. She looked up at him, waiting and hoping and begging that he would get it. He didn’t. Darcy leaned in to whisper it into his ear. Thor jerked his head back before yelling, “THE HAMMER IS MY PENIS?”  
  
 **VII. Rogers ****  
**  
Darcy couldn’t find Steve anywhere, which left only one place: his room. When she knocked on his door, a very fresh-faced looking Steve Rogers answered. “Miss Darcy,” He smiled broadly, showing off that poster american boy smile as he leaned against the frame of the door. It was infectious and she couldn’t help but smile back. She held up the last file in her hand and waved it. He leaned back and opened the door for her to come in.  
  
She had never been in his room before and she stood around awkwardly before Steve went into gentleman mode. “My apologies, Miss Darcy, please!” He smiled and pulled up the chair. She sat, but she couldn’t help but glance over his room. It was very plain and neat, the only things decorating his wall were sparse black and white photos and pencil sketches. Her glance fell on his bed. It was so... neat. She wanted to jump on it and roll around it, only to lean up and pull Steve down with her. Everything in the room was reflective of Steve’s personality, and she had this devilish need to uproot all of it and fuck it all up. Literally.  Steve chatted on about how he was in a surprisingly good mood while Darcy thought about how she wanted to make Steve cum so hard that he saw the star-spangled banner. She wanted to make him squirm, gasp, and beg. She wanted to make sure he made up for lost time.  
  
She had to distract herself. “Mind if I check my email?” She asked, nodding her head over to the laptop that looked like it was collecting dust. “Not at all.” He flipped through the papers and nodded studiously. Darcy wheeled up against the desk and moved around on the desktop, looking for a familiar internet browser. She found nothing, only the tragic internet explorer in which she sighed and opened it up, logging in to the SHIELD website and entering in password after password. There wasn’t any new email and she was ready to log out and scoot out.  
  
“I’m getting pretty confident using the e-mail. I was practicing earlier with Tony.”  
  
Darcy was glad that Steve couldn’t see her reaction and she hustled that little mouse pointer over to the Internet History. Oh, beautiful and clueless Steve Rogers, Darcy thought. While he had gotten used to sending and receiving e-mails, he still had not learned the first rule of the internet: leave no evidence. Darcy scoffed at the idea that Steve would actually look up anything incriminating, but as she scrolled through the internet history, she read only _tumblr, tumblr, tumblr, tumblr, tumblr, tumblr, gmail: 1 new message from t.stark_. Fucking Tony! Steve had read the sex confessions! Had he read about the one where she wrote that it would be her patriotic duty to swallow, or maybe the one where she described how enthusiastic Steve would be to return the favor? She was both mortified and turned-on that she had inadvertently corrupted him after all, through the internet no less! She knew she earned her special place labeled in Hell, though now she was only curious as to why he looked so calm.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by a ding! that came over the laptop’s speakers. “Oh, that’s the e-mail sound!” Steve proclaimed with pride as he shut the file and set it down on his bed. Opening the email from Director Fury, Darcy’s heart dropped.  
  
 _Darcy Lewis. My office. Right now.  
  
You have some explaining to do._  
  
“Son of a mother!” Darcy groaned as she logged out of the email and face planted into the keyboard. She groaned and squinted her eyes as she looked over at his desk, looking over what she was sure was one of the last glimpses she would take before Fury murdered her face. Pens, papers, tissues, lotion... wait, lotion? She bolted up as she realized why Steve Rogers seemed so at ease for once. “Miss Darcy?” Steve asked with concern, but Darcy Lewis was already making her way out of the room before she wrapped herself around Steve’s leg and begged not to see Fury. Though as she walked to Fury’s office, she felt awfully proud.  
  
 **VIII. Laufeyson**  
  
Alarms were going off and they weren’t only in Darcy’s head. She yelped as the hallways flashed red, a klaxon blaring loud over the intercoms. She saw Fury run out of his office at the end of the hall and run down the connecting corridor. If the alarms were going off, something horrible was happening. She could hear screams and a loud roar from the floors below her, and she could only guess that someone had pissed off Bruce. As she looked back to Fury’s office, she saw a swish of a green cape disappear inside of it. She didn’t remember any new superhero help but if someone had powers, they could get her the hell away from this mess.  
  
As she ran into the room, she paused, meeting eyes with Loki Laufeyson who was hunched over Fury’s computer. He looked up at her and then moved his attention back to the computer, typing before sliding away from it and pocketing a memory stick. Darcy gawked at him.  
  
“So are you a hacker now? What, being a God of Mischief and Mayhem and wizard wasn’t good enough for you?” Of course she was filled with regret that the one sassy thing she could muster that day was towards a deadly psychopath with magical powers. A sexy deadly psychopath with magical powers.  
  
“I’m many things and more.” He replied ambiguously with a shrug of his shoulders. Darcy raised her brow at him. This was the first time she had seen him so close in person. Though she saw him many times on newsreels and databases, this was the first time she got a close up view. He was so slender, tall, and dark. Everything about him oozed sensuality, and the tons of majestic looking bondage gear he wore didn’t help Darcy’s already raging hormones. Loki smirked at her, tilting his head to the side. “God got your tongue, Darcy Lewis?” He began to approach her, and Darcy quickly turned to march right out the door.  
  
It slammed shut in front of her and she jumped back in surprise. She whirled around to face Loki, only to find him directly in front of her. She backed up against the door as he hovered over her. “How do you know my name?” She breathed, brows drawn together. Loki laughed, his smile moving so effortlessly over his face. “I watch you.” He explained simply, taking up the shock in Darcy’s face. He continued. “Do you think this is my first visit to your workplace? No. I’ve been here, every day, for months. I had to learn of your technology. You place so much value on it, rely on it so much, but it will truly be your downfall.” He purred, placing his hands on either side of her head as he leaned close to whisper against her ear. “Sometimes I take a break and I watch you do your work. You’re such a mischievous mortal, Darcy Lewis. A lewd, salacious, devious mortal.” He hissed.  
  
Darcy gasped, stilling under his towering form. She could feel his breath lash out against her neck and it made her let out a shaking breath. “I’ve seen what you publish on your computer, what slanderous and perverted thoughts you have about your heroes. However, what I particularly enjoy are the ones you’ve written about me, and there are many, oh so very many. Do you wonder, Darcy Lewis, what it would be like for a god to fuck you into submission? Do you wonder why they call me silver-tongued? Do you wonder what it would be like to be made to kneel before me, to be made into a quivering, whimpering, pathetic whore?” He crooned as he trailed his nose along her neck, his lips ghosting over her skin. Darcy swallowed as she felt heat pool in the pit of her stomach and a dizzying wave of pleasure wash over her. Every scenario he spoke of was a submitted confession on the blog.  
  
“Do you?” He demanded, his voice sharp as he slammed his hands against the wall behind her. She struggled for a way to verbalize her response when she knew he damn well knew the answer. “Do you, Darcy Lewis?” He asked again as he moved his leg to press up between her thighs. Darcy let out a pathetic cry, tilting her head back as her jaw went slack. “Y-Yes,” She whimpered. She could feel Loki press his slender body against hers, trapping and engulfing her. She was at true odds whether she should be terrified for her life, or feel incredibly awesome that Loki Laufeyson read her blog. She was also at odds with the whole enemy of the world versus hot guy pinning her up against the wall. Pleasure deserved to be won out.  
  
Suddenly the weight of Loki disappeared from her and she blinked to reorient herself. Loki was gone.  
  
“... Motherfucker.” Darcy groaned as she slumped to the floor of Fury’s office.  
  
 **IX. Fury**  
  
“You called, Director Fury?” Darcy winced in mental anguish as she entered his office. She looked back at the door as it shut, remembering how Loki how teased her and turned her on. She remembered how he said he watched her. That had been one week ago, one week since the incident where Loki turned one of the highest guarded and safest facilities into Hell and havoc itself. Darcy looked back to Fury. It had been one week since their meeting had been postponed.  
  
Nick Fury leaned forward to fold his fingers on his desk, looking up and giving Darcy _that look _. “If there’s one person who benefit from this mess this past week, it’s you. Unfortunately for us, our systems were corrupted and it says the owner of the confessions tumblr is blogging from Antarctica. Since you clearly aren’t in Antarctica, we have no way of tracing it back to you. That means there’s no way to officially reprimand you. It’s too bad, I think you would have enjoyed the South Pole this time of year.” He stared up at her and Darcy had zero clue if Fury was joking or not. Fury didn’t have a joking face. She did, however, let out a sigh of relief.  
  
“There better not be my name anywhere on that damn website.” He added, leaning back and shaking his head. Darcy had to prevent herself from making a face. “You’re my boss!” She protested with chagrin, flinching as Fury shot her back another look. “You bet your ass I am, now get out before I schedule some flight tickets and you’ll actually be blogging from Antarctica.” Darcy didn’t need to have it explained any more and she thanked him with lots of yes sirs and sorry sirs before scooting out.  
  
 **X. Anonymous**  
  
Moving back to her office, she slumped in her seat, lost in a daze of endless questions. Who had rerouted her blog to transmit from Antarctica? She wondered if that trickster god had anything to do with it, and she couldn’t help but smirk. She concluded that all good things had to come to an end. While she loved it while it lasted, she didn’t want to incur the wrath of Fury and didn’t want to put Loki’s strange gift to waste. She would have to delete. Darcy slowly moved to pull Tumblr back up on her screen log into the one that owned the sex confessions page one last time. She had closed submissions and asks the day after the last week’s incident, which was why it was incredibly odd that she saw that little notification in the corner. She leaned forward and clicked her ask box open to reveal an Anonymous ask.  
  
 _I believe a confession is due for this blog’s owner  
_  
“That’s it?” Darcy scrutinized as she leaned forward to stare at the screen.  
  
“ _No_ ,” came a cool voice behind her, as long and nimble fingers moved to cup her jaw. “ _Shall I show you, Darcy Lewis_?”


End file.
